madafakarovsky

Welcome to my personal blog, don't expect a good read, they're only the thoughts of a mad man.

Category: Random

Late night thoughts

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Do you ever sit pondering and you’re sad, but you don’t think of anything? your mind is floating into outer space yet you catch yourself at some point asking yourself “what am I sad about?” and then the thoughts rush in, your brain comes up with reasons, they spawn out of your insecurities; you soon remember the time you were a little kid, you didn’t know what love was, you didn’t care if you had money, your only worry was how fast you could eat to catch up with your friends after school.

Don’t you miss it, the age when you were just.. living and not surviving? Because I do, lately I’ve felt like I live to work instead of working to live. The world became this chaotic hazardous hate-driven pile of shit, as a 20 years old creature, I have witnessed more than I should already, I have seen the downgrade of the world, I have seen the evolution of the global financial system, I’ve seen how it slowly corrupted pure souls, how it spawned wars, how powerful people were driven into the ground by it, how it hypnotized the younger generation into believing money can buy everything and it’s sad because we only have few values left and it scares the shit out of me they will probably become purchasable in the next couple of years.

Waiting for my trial shift

So, as I’m waiting for my trial I felt like I should write something. I woke up prett early, trying to make a good impression and not be late but guess what, I’m one hour earlier so fuck me.

Well, this is another job I despite, waiter.. Again and again, feels like this is the only job suitable for me and God help me, hopefully with this job I’ll get out of this debt I’m in and finally start buying shit for myself because I really need is. I need cool clothes, I need Bukowski’d books and more than anything, I need to go out, meet people, have fun.

Fuck, how did I end up here.