Alone with everybody

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“Alone with everybody” a quote that’s been stuck in my head for years now, ever since I discovered Bukowski. I never understood it until now; it all makes sense now. As someone who suffers from depression the quote appealed to me but little did I know it had a deeper meaning. 

I’ll continue with another quote by him “you get so alone at times that it just makes sense ” which is actually the title of one of his poem books.

I am in fact alone, lonelier than I have ever been and I never thought it could ever get to this point.No family, no friends, no emotions, everything is blank. I even stopped dreaming for some reason, I’m living in a loop, everything is on repeat. The people I meet are soulless, nothing interesting about them, I miss my people, those with dreams and hopes. I haven’t met a single interesting individual since I moved to London. I met plenty of people and for some reason many like or liked me, I’m an easy going person and I blend in pretty easy, I like to give people what they want, I fake my way with them, I get into their game, I ask stupid silly questions, sometimes I even compliment them for stupid stuff or even seem intrigued by their “amazing” stories which are either lies or boring.

I am surrounded by nothingness so I became nothing.