My shit’s fucked up.

by madafakarovsky

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I keep telling everyone around me that everything’s going to be fine, that all problems will soon come to an en and that after every rain, there comes the rainbow, you just got to be patient but at night, I’m the one who breaks down crying.

Compared to my problems, theirs seem like child’s play, my life is a never-ending messy shit on loop. Sometimes, I force myself to believe the words I’m telling others but no matter how much I try, I can’t see the sunlight and the skies instead of scatter, hey just get more dense. My rainbow could be somewhere far far away, patiently waiting to shine before my eyesight but what if it appears to late? What good will it make if I only get my line straight when I’m old and my life passes, leaving me with only regrets.

There’s too many problems I’ve avoided, well, I think procrastinate is the word more suitable for this, I’ve procrastinated my problems for too long and now they bang on the door, sooner or later, ready to knock off the hinge.

Every night I fight my demons, lately they don’t even let me sleep, these assholes like to bring back memories of my past and keep me awake.Demons I thought I’ve drown long time ago, they come back to me disguised as memories.

Funny how you forget things you don’t want to but remember what you don’t.

My soul is shattered

My confidence is fading

And my bottle of hope is emptying refilling others.

I’m a mess.

 

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